Hey peeps.

I just wanted to let you know I haven't ran off with a sugar daddy and gone to live on some exotic island where there is no Internet connection. Hate to say it, I'm still here just trying to survive.

I've been busy as per usual. Not enough time for to dip into the erotic oceans, as I might like. I have to admit that I'm starting to get real discouraged on the whole idea of male sexual talents. I'm serious. There just doesn't seem to be enough men out there who really know how to please a woman.

I mean this girl can take care of herself if she has to, but she just loves it when a man takes charge and knows exactly where to touch her and how to touch her without a flashlight and a map. I'm just beginning to feel as if the truly sexually talented man is a thing of the past and a girl gets a bit tired of playing the teacher over and over again.

I know this is my first blog in nearly a year and it's going to be a little disappointing, because I'm not going to sit here and give you a juicy story, instead I want to give some men out there some tips...

If you this sounds too tedious for you, then go on your merry way.

First off, I'm sick and tired of men trying to seduce you with their wallets. I don't really care how much money you make or if I choose to go with you I'd never have to work a day in my life. Please! Get real dude!

I can take care of myself and the size of your wallet does nothing for the moisture between my legs. Instead of telling me the size of your wallet, how about you tell me the size of something a little more meaty...

Now if a woman chooses to go off with you to do whatever, please do not tell her that it's been sooo long since a woman has given you any attention. We do not need to hear how desperate you are. There's also a good chance that what you consider a long time is not time at all to most women.

If a man says he's been married for 20 years, then he better have the sexual skills to back it up. I was married once for a total of 72 hours (it was Vegas). I'd be willing to bet that I have more sexual talent in my pinkie finger than a certain man I met recently who claimed he'd been married for 20 years.

If that's all the sexual education you got out of the marriage, then no wonder that the wife left you!

Here's some tips boys. Not every women is the same, what one likes another will not. You have to listen to the woman. Listen to her moans, pay attention to the responses her body gives you. Take your fucking time, fucking!!

It is not about getting to the finish line the fastest, it is about who can fucking scream the loudest.

Let the woman lead, don't just rush in there.

Kissing is wonderful a man who doesn't like kissing isn't worth my time. I love to kiss and to be kissed. Think back to the times when you were a teenager and all you did was make out. A man who can hold off and just make out will always get the surprise in the end.

Take your time because you just might end up with a wild beast on your hands once she's properly stimulated.

Okay, guys say you get to the boobs. The lady lets you grab the tits. You get the hand up under the shirt without getting slapped. The tits are critical.

So many men claim to want the woman with the big tits, but mostly when those men get the big huge tits, they don't know what to do with them! Hell, most don't even know what to do with the small or medium sized tits. You need to learn to take care of the tits!

First off you need to find out what kind of woman you have. You need to see if nipple stimulation has any reaction on your woman.

Personally I can tell you that my nipples are ultra sensitive. I absolutely love it when a man takes his time to really play with my breasts and my nipples, but only if he's gentle.

I don't like a man who comes in and acts like he's breast feeding. If I wanted breast feeding I would have a baby! I also don't like a man who gains access to the breasts but doesn't remove the bra.

It is a turn off for me if I have to stop everything to remove my bra and I do not enjoy it as much if the bra is merely pushed up over my tits. The bra is tight, it's supposed to be tight, when it's pushed over the boobs, it's really tight. If I don't get any blood to my nipples I won't be able to feel you trying to nurse off of them.

I know the answer to part of that is to not wear the bra at all. Yes, while that's a wonderful idea it is not always the best of ideas to go braless. One might wish they could go braless all the time, but it's not always the best policy.

So, you gain access to the tits. Perhaps you brush up on your bra skills. Go by a bra or two and practice undoing the clips. There's no shame in polishing your skills. Who knows you might even get a date with the hot clerk at the Victoria Secrets counter. Tell her you're brushing up on your bra skills, maybe she might even let you try it out on her, in the dressing room!! It could happen.

Now ask the women to remove the bra, or go for it without asking. I'm sure she'll tell you if you are over the lines.

Once you get the breast all exposed and unhindered, I want you to treat it like a ice cream sundae, complete with the cherry on top. You got to be gentle with your sundae, ice cream is not something that you man handle.

You have to lick all around your sundae to prevent it from dripping. Only at the end do you get to play with the cherry. Even when you get to the top of your sundae, you still have to be careful.

Run your tongue all around the nipple and then flick your tongue over the tip. Once she's (I'm) good and hard, then you can slowly suckle, but gently.

Listen to her moaning, and her breathing. If she's pulling you in closer and running her fingers through your hair then she's enjoying what you are doing. Only after you've dedicated a lot of time to the breasts and nipple area are you freed to move lower.

What not to do in this situation is clumsily go for the waist band and thrust your hand inside her panties and then proceed to treat her like a bowling ball. A woman is not a bowling ball. A gynecologist has more tact and finesse than some men out there.

Hey guys in looking for a pic of the vagina and the mysterious clit that not many men seem to know how to find, I found the best site ever. This was how I was going to lay it down for you guys, but it's already done right here.

http://www.infosex.com/home.htm

Check out and only come back when you're a sexually experienced adult.

I want to plaster that site all over the web. I want to had the url out in bars.

"Hey cutie, go to www.infosex.com then give me a call." <-- said in that husky sex chat voice. One point I'd like to reiterate is hands and nails. If you are a labor worker, nothing against labor workers they are some of the hottest men out there.... BUT they have rough hands.

I've heard it said that corn huskers lotion is the best thing for rough manly hands. There is no shame in wanting your hands to be baby smooth for the woman you want to please. Be her the woman you come home to every night or that not young piece of ass up at the local tavern you've been trying to nail since the last full moon.

Get yourself some Corn Huskers Lotion and treat her to that smooth touch.

There's nothing I hate more than to have my insides ripped by a rough hand. Also, the nails. Make sure guys that your nails are all clean and that they are trimmed without any rough hangnails.

You know when I'm laying down in my bed, intent on a night of pleasuring myself (I do it often) I make sure that my hands are soft (the most work my hands get is a keyboard) and that my nails are trimmed at least and filed smooth. Also, I sanitize.

I guess I'm a bit of a germaphobe, but I got a bottle of purell right by the bed. I don't want any rouge germs getting up inside my love cave. *he he*

I have stopped some men (intent on treating me like a bowling ball) from infecting me with their dirty finger nails. At times I just wanted to say, "Didn't your mom teach you how to use a nail brush or something?"

A long time ago I heard it said that a woman could spot a sexually talented man, by looking at his hands. No, it's not the size of his hands. If he has soft well manicured hands that is a sign of a sexually talented man. This man actually cares about how his woman feels and what she feels...

As the blog I gave you up above, if your hands are nice and she's allowed you access into her cove of pleasure, then you must be nice to the clit. Do not treat her like a bowling ball!!!

Though you shouldn't go straight for the clit either. Tease her, turn her on... slowly but surely. Dance around the clit, touch everywhere, but gently.

As the other blogger said, if you can get your lover to show you how she masturbates then go for it, but don't get so caught up in how horny you are that you forget to pay attention.

Watch her and pay attention. Then you can mimic her movements. If she masturbates a certain way the that's the way she likes it... don't go back on your messed up 'training' remembering how your girlfriend back in high school liked to be stroked. Be in the moment.

Remember that a clit is a bit like a penis. If you don't want your lover to grab you dick and rub the crap out of the head of your dick, then don't do the same to your lover.

Be gentle with the clit, just as you expect us to be gentle with the dick.

Think of it like a computer mouse. The clit is the scroller thingy. You just want to move you finger across it...

You can put on more pressure as your woman responds. Try to put some moisture on the clit. If you are there with the clit then your woman should be nice and wet by now. Spread that wetness around. It's called lubrication for a reason.

Now, if your woman isn't wet, then perhaps you need to move back up to the breast stimulation or even the making out and kissing. If she's not wet by now then you may be doing something wrong... I'm just saying. Or *gasp* maybe SHE'S just not that into you!!!

If you're woman is letting you please her with your finger. Keep it above ground for a while. For me I don't really liked to be reamed by a man's finger. The finger is never as pleasurable as the cock. Generally, the finger hurts because a man is more forceful with his finger than he's willing to be with his cock (well in certain situations).

I really don't care for it when the gynecologist reams me with a finger and I don't like it when a lover does it either. I prefer clit action as opposed to finger jammed in vagina action. I mean if you really want to put something up inside then I've got some very nice sanitized vibrating toys, all kinds of colors and sizes!

Now if you're between my legs and rubbing me with your finger I'm going to expect your tongue to be next. They just go hand and hand.

I love oral. I know some women don't like it at all, but that's only because they've never had it.... honestly. Those who have experienced oral, love it.

For a good portion of woman's life, oral sex is the only way she can experience orgasm. Seriously.

I love oral. If I receive I will give back... I promise. Though and this might sound like a greedy guy, but I absolutely hate giving oral and not receiving any in return.

There have been times that I did not want to completely put out (perish the thought), but guys expect just because I don't want to climb on top of them in their truck with the too low ceiling, this means that I should go down on them and not get my pleasure in return.

I think from this point on I should hold on to the giving of pleasure until I receive it. I want to scream and shake, twist and shout just as much as he does. Why should I be expected to 'kiss it' on him, when I hold him to no other standards if I'm unwilling to check in to some sleazy motel for a hour an a half (okay, okay twenty minutes). I want my release too you selfish bastard.

Guys this is why hetero women suddenly decide to date lesbian or bi women...

I know some ladies that I could call up in a heart beat who'd be all too willing to help me out in my plight of dissatisfaction.

Anyways, I'm not man-hating. I love men, in all their I just want to kick their ass up between their shoulder blades ways....

I just want some give and take from the male community. I just want a wild night of passion. One where I'm pleased and he's pleased. He takes his time and listens and knows just want to do...

I want that. I need that...

That's all for now. I promise more steamy erotica next time.